Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
