I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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