He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
