He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
