My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Watching her eat just hurts me
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
