ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We need a shit load of segways right now
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I love you. Go after that dick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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