Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
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If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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