really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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