i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Even my vagina gasped.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
