We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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