the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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