Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
