could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
