I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
