My hand turned me down
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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