I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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