O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
