why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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