Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
