I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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