Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
