well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
