bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
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