I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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