Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize