I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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