Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
