My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
We named our party play list daddy issues
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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