Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize