i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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