do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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