I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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