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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just invented taco cereal.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have tasted many bathrooms
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
