well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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