what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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