the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
