I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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