All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
