How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Found the puke drawer
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
