the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
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You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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