ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
