if i died would you start the facebook group?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
