dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
