So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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