yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
