i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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