You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
