I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
