big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
