I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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