dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
did i walk over a car last night?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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