I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize