And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
