He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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