the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
