there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
