Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i love accidental penises.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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