you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
